this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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