I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I don't deserve a penis
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
