About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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