Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
