I am puke
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize