so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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