I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
