im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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