just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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