her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
