I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
