At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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