this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
