Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
