i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
When did we convert life to cartoon?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
