He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
