I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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