i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize