i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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