My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
it was like eating out sand paper
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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