I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Randomize
