what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
