Sry I called you an 8
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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