It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize