Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
