ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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