he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize