I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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