I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
wat bout pragnant strippers??
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
