How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
