Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
