I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
