Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry bobcat hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team

Fav 42 6394 1349
share tweet
(757): View more from Virginia

He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.

Fav 42 20810 1556
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(608): View more from Wisconsin

we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment

Fav 17 1375 5028
share tweet
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.

Fav 8 2561 2083
share tweet
(815): View more from Illinois

In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.

Fav 8 2803 980
share tweet
(719): View more from Colorado

She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.

Fav 2 1694 877
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here

Fav 5 1044 1387
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(410): View more from Maryland

Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious

Fav 5 753 344
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(253): View more from Washington

You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".

Fav 1 29 49
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT