i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dear god my vagina.
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