I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
