Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
