He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
