My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
