Christians are straight up FREAKS
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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