i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
