have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
