IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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