and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
