I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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