he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Dick very happy bro
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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