i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
