its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Pappa wants mamma naked
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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