the condom got lost in my hair
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
