dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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