You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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