Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
