Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
