is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
