The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
