she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
