your room smells of hookers.
And success
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
